If you’ve ever felt nervous about writing scenes with sex, or wondered whether your story’s steamy moments feel authentic and emotionally meaningful, let me introduce you to someone who could transform your entire approach to romance writing: Dr. J. | Donna Jennings. She’s not just any writing coach—she’s a Ph.D. in marriage and family with a specialty in human sexuality, along with four decades of experience as a therapist and sex educator, and she’s passionate about helping romance authors create scenes that are both sizzling and emotionally rich.
Dr. J. understands that many writers feel intimidated by the technical and emotional aspects of writing intimacy. Whether you’re worried about getting the details right, concerned about creating healthy representations of sexuality, or simply nervous about putting those intimate and vulnerable scenes on paper, she brings both scientific expertise and genuine warmth to help you grow as a storyteller.
From packing condoms to Ph.D.: a journey in sexuality education
Dr. J.’s story starts in the most unexpected place—packing condoms at Adam & Eve in the early 1970s. She was a college dropout who needed a job and accidentally landed at a company that sold sexuality products. That entry-level position sparked a lifelong passion for sex education and positive sexuality that would shape her entire career.
What this background means for your writing: Dr. J. has spent nearly five decades studying, teaching, and helping people understand healthy sexuality. She’s worked with countless individuals as a therapist, taught college students as a professor, trained medical professionals, and now brings all that expertise to help romance writers create authentic, empowering intimate scenes.
Her journey from the packing line to earning three degrees (including her Ph.D.) shows her commitment to understanding sexuality from every angle—scientific, therapeutic, educational, and creative. She’s not just someone who read a few books about writing romance; she’s a genuine expert in human sexuality who happens to love storytelling.
Why romance matters: the revelation that changed everything
Dr. J. didn’t set out to become a romance writing coach. The shift happened when her college students told her something that completely reframed her mission: “You tell amazing stories. You should be writing.” But more importantly, they explained that for many people, romance novels were their first introduction to sex education—where they learned about relationships, desire, and intimacy before any classroom ever taught them.
This revelation shaped her entire approach. Romance novels, for all their fantasy elements, can actually teach readers about healthy sexuality. By combining love, emotional connection, and satisfying physical intimacy, Dr. J. realized she could reach people in a powerful new way.
What this means for your writing: Dr. J. helps you understand that your romance isn’t “just entertainment”—it’s potentially someone’s first or most influential education about healthy relationships and sexuality. She’ll help you write scenes that are both exciting and empowering, showing readers what positive, consensual, emotionally connected intimacy looks like.
Her unique approach: science meets storytelling
Dr. J.’s coaching combines rigorous scientific knowledge with creative storytelling in ways that most writing coaches simply can’t offer. She uses established psychological models, neuroscience research, and therapeutic techniques to help you create more authentic characters and believable intimate connections.
Tools she brings to your writing:
- Helen Fisher’s Personality Test to understand how different personality types connect and experience attraction
- The PLISSIT Model (Permission, Limited Information, Specific Suggestion) to craft scenes that feel educational without being clinical
- Holistic sexuality frameworks that consider physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of intimacy
- Erotic blueprint development to create characters with authentic sexual histories and motivations
Instead of generic advice about “making scenes steamy,” Dr. J. helps you understand why your characters are drawn to each other, how their backgrounds shape their desires, and what makes each intimate moment unique to their specific relationship.
Creating authentic chemistry that goes beyond physical attraction
One of Dr. J.’s core teachings is that sexual chemistry shouldn’t just “kick in” at certain points in your story. It starts the moment your characters meet and deepens with every interaction. The most impactful intimate scenes draw on everything the characters have experienced together—they’re hot because they matter emotionally.
Dr. J.’s approach to building authentic intimacy:
- Start with character backstory: Understanding each character’s cultural background, family attitudes, education, and relationship history
- Focus on emotional drivers: What feelings—anger, joy, nervousness, pure desire—are fueling each moment?
- Layer the senses: What does each character see, hear, feel, taste, and smell during intimate moments?
- Consider the whole person: How do personality, stress levels, life circumstances, and even medication affect how someone experiences intimacy?
As Dr. J. puts it: “If you stay with the character, what they’re feeling, you’ll never write the same sex scene twice.”
Practical help for nervous writers
If writing scenes with sex makes you anxious, Dr. J. offers concrete exercises to build your confidence:
The movie scene exercise:
- Pick your favorite steamy movie scene
- Write out all the dialogue, leaving plenty of space
- Describe the actions—what is each character doing, touching, moving?
- Add the emotions—what’s driving them at each moment?
This layering helps you see how great intimate scenes mix words, actions, and emotion. You’re not just writing a checklist of physical moves—you’re creating moments where every action has emotional meaning.
Debunking myths and promoting healthy sexuality
Dr. J. tackles common misconceptions that show up in romance writing, helping you create more realistic and inclusive representations:
Important truths she teaches:
- Lubrication isn’t a sign of inadequate arousal—stress, medication, and many other factors affect the body’s responses
- Clitoral stimulation isn’t optional for most vulva-owners—show how pleasure really works
- Every person’s body responds differently, and that’s completely normal
- Consent and enthusiasm should be clear and ongoing, never assumed
By grounding your stories in facts rather than myths, you ensure that no reader ever feels “less than” for normal bodily differences or needs.
The “erotic play box” concept for creative writers
To help writers expand their creativity, Dr. J. suggests building your own “Erotic Play Box”—a collection of ideas, fantasies, sensory details, toys, and inspirational elements. The more you explore and understand pleasure and intimacy, the more creative and diverse your stories become.
This isn’t about shock value or pushing boundaries just to be edgy. It’s about expanding your knowledge so you can write with confidence and authenticity, creating scenes that feel fresh and meaningful rather than repetitive or clichéd.
Real examples from her own writing
Dr. J. practices what she teaches through her own romance and erotica:
“Tested”: Two grad students studying for a human sexuality exam find their review session turning into a playful, knowledge-based exploration of arousal and desire. The story shows how sexual knowledge itself can be incredibly sexy.
“Shadows and Silhouettes”: A heroine navigating perimenopause, hormone changes, and the challenge of reclaiming sexual vitality, while her partner confronts his own insecurities. Dr. J uses these themes to blend realism, empathy, and sensuality.
These examples show how she weaves scientific understanding into compelling, emotionally rich stories that both entertain and educate.
Her coaching approach and availability
Dr. J. offers both individual coaching and workshops, always with a focus on making learning fun and empowering. She describes her approach as treating “sex as adult play,” and that playful, positive energy comes through in all her teaching.
What working with Dr. J. includes:
- Personalized guidance based on your specific writing goals and comfort level
- Scientific insights that enhance rather than complicate your storytelling
- Practical exercises to build confidence and skill
- Support for personal growth alongside writing development
- A sex-positive, judgment-free environment for exploring challenging topics
You can connect with Dr. J. through her website at drjauthor.com, where she welcomes writers at all levels who want to create sexier, smarter, more authentic romance.
Is Dr. J. right for you?
Dr. J. might be perfect for you if:
- You want to write scenes with sex that feel authentic and emotionally meaningful
- You’re nervous about writing sexuality and want expert guidance to build confidence
- You value scientific accuracy and want to promote healthy representations of intimacy
- You’re interested in exploring how character psychology and background influence sexual expression
- You want to understand the “why” behind attraction and chemistry, not just the “what”
- You’re writing characters from diverse backgrounds and want to represent sexuality authentically
- You believe romance writing can be both entertaining and empowering
She might not be the right fit if:
- You’re looking for help with plot structure, pacing, or general story development (her focus is specifically on sexuality and intimate scenes)
- You prefer to keep intimate scenes very minimal or closed-door
- You’re not interested in learning about the psychological and physiological aspects of sexuality
- You want quick fixes rather than a deep understanding of character development
Your intimate scenes deserve expert guidance
Writing romance means exploring some of the most vulnerable, powerful, and meaningful aspects of human connection. Dr. J. | Donna Jennings brings four decades of expertise in human sexuality, combined with genuine passion for storytelling, to help you create intimate scenes that honor both the heat and the heart of your characters’ relationships.
Whether you’re writing your first love scene or your fiftieth, working with someone who understands both the science and the art of sexuality can transform not just your writing, but your confidence as a storyteller. Your characters—and your readers—deserve intimate moments that feel real, healthy, empowering, and absolutely unforgettable.
As Dr. J. puts it: “Step into your own sexual power as a writer. Give your characters the best sex lives possible. You might surprise yourself along the way.”